Friday, November 2, 2012

Its the month to be thankful!

So I have been jotting down what I am Thankful for on Facebook.  Since it is the month of Thanks I figured I would do it here on my blog as well....If anything it will give me a reason to blog daily YAY!!!  Somedays I will do the same things as I do on Facebook others will be something different; I guess whatever I see fit is what I will go with.

I am thankful today for the power of prayer.  This one is a hard one for me to talk about.  Its personal but I think at the same time I would love to share it.  As you have read previously my husband has been diagnosed with Epilepsy.  For a time I was not sleeping I was stressed and terrified of another seizure occuring.  I decided I would ask friends if they had tried sleep aides and which ones they liked.  I really didn't like the thought of taking something to help me sleep, first I didn't want to become dependent on it and second I didn't want the side affects.  One of our good family freinds emailed me he and his wife have become some of our greatest friends in such a short time.  He had joked with me to try some whiskey that would knock me out!  When I got his email it brought tears to my eyes.  As he told me to pray for guidance and strength to be strong.  I knew he was right that Heavenly Father is there for me no matter what.  He will listen no matter how much I seem to ramble.
At first I was nervous I hadn't prayed in such a long time I wondered if I remembered how.  The next day on my way to work (I had been crying due to a flash back I had) I decided to pull over.  I was a few minutes early so along the backroads I take to work I pulled over and poured my heart, frustration and tears out to the man upstairs.  I can't tell you how great it felt to get it all out.  Not to hold back anything and quite frankly I didn't.  I thought I would ask for this obstacle to be removed and for Shad to never have a seizure.  I realized though that what I truly wanted was strength.  Strength to be strong for Shad, to know how to handle the seizures and the aftermath, strength to know it is ok and I can sleep at night.  I went about my day and didn't think too much of it; but I made a promise to pray daily even if it were just to tell someone how mad or sad or happy I am.
When I laid my head down that night to go to sleep I think I fell straight to sleep.  I didn't lay there and listen to Shads breath to make sure it didn't sound funny or sit and watch him to make sure a seizure wasn't going to occur.  I woke up 8 straight hours later.  Suprised I didn't wake every hour or every time Shad moved.  I slept.  I was so relieved. 
I have prayed every night and morning since.  I am still scared of the seizures but I know that I will be ok, we will be ok.  That peace of mind means so incredibly much to me.  I can get back to life now and I can look forward to go to sleep instead of dread it.


Chelle! said...

Thanks for sharing. That was a touching post.

Jdub said...

It's amazing what talking to God can change in our lives. :) I talk to God a lot, but not as much as I should. Thanks for the gentle reminder by being a good example.